On the weekend of my birthday, August 28th, I decided to participate in a 3-day shamanic retreat where I would journey through a path of spiritual healing with the sacred offerings of Kambo, Bufo, Yopo and more! I would be joined by a group of strangers some of whom met previously at other retreats. I actually went back and forth about attending this retreat. The person who posted the flier in a psychedelic group chat, was not responding, and I was unsure of the training of the shaman. After constantly going back to the group and asking if anyone was planning to go, I decided to do some google research and found a podcast where the shaman discussed his path to becoming a shaman. In addition, once I found his social media I recognized one of the people in his video and contacted her for her thoughts (even though by that point the podcast had solidified my trust in the shaman).

On the day of departure, I decided to check out a shoe store that was closing for good to possibly get my mother something. After not being able to locate anything I started to walk out but noticed out the side of my eye these interesting necklaces. They had a ball in the center with a larger ring around it and a leaf hanging from the bottom. They reminded me of the leaf earring I had just recently purchased and since they were so cheap I decided this would be a great gift to give to the attendees and loaded up with about 20 of them to make sure I had extra for my friends.

On the drive there I listened to a book called The Kybalion and man even though I only got through a little over half on the 3 hour drive man was it an eye opener. It was originally published in 1908 it discusses the seven Hermetic principles based on the teachings of Hermes Trismegistus also known as the Egyptian Deity Thoth or Hermes from Ancient Greece. I found myself nodding in agreement and amazement with the principals and their explanations as I drove and it definitely had me thinking. I arrived at Lake Lure, North Carolina after 3 hours of driving and luckily right when I started to lose service.

I greeted everyone in the house, there was a few people unpacking while the rest of the crew already dipped into the jacuzzi for a bit. I soon found out there were 5 of us who drove up from Atlanta and none of us knew each other except for 2 people. Once most people arrived we started the fire to get ready for the first offering

Rapé or Rapeh

This Colombian Guarumo Rapé is made with ash from the Guarumo tree bark and leaves and Nicotiana rustica leaves. It is exclusively made for us by a Colombian shaman. He works with plants and healers from many indigenous cultures around South America. The name “Strength from the elements” refers to the rapé’s ability to connect us with ancestral wisdom. It also induces a mood for meditation, cleans the mind, and unlocks emotional blockages.

In the Spiritual realm, strength is correlated to the planet’s elements: fire, air, earth, and water. The fine powder is blown into each nostril through a bone or bamboo pipe called a ‘Tepi’ or ‘Kuripe’. The Tepi applicator is a long blow pipe that connects the nostril of the receiver to the mouth of the person that administers the snuff. The Kuripe is for self-application. The use of Rapé aims to restore our connection to nature and a sense of grounding. It clears mental fog and confusion eliminating negative thought patterns. These powerful snuffs bring about physical and spiritual wellness.

I passed out the necklaces around the first and everyone expressed their gratitude and put it on, including the shaman. The shaman began to distribute the Rapeh, starting with the first nostril telling us to breathe through the mouth, touching our chest reciting his prayers, and then administering to our other nostril. When it hit my first nostril boyyyyyy did it burn! I also noticed and almost smokey flavor. I immediately started to cry as if it just opened my tear ducts wide. I layed back and started to feel this vibration and looking around at the bright sky was beautiful.

Some people started to spit in their buckets because some of the rapeh went down into their mouth. I felt this happiness and bounced between that feeling and slight sadness, internal laughter, and peace. The burning subsided completely in maybe 2 minutes or less. We were instructed after 10 minutes to blow our noses to clear but I never felt the need to do it. The shaman started to call forth the spirits of the animals (snake, bear, puma, eagle) to bring union between us and wishes for our purposes to be manifested.

Mambe

Feminine energy. Nutty/Sweet and made from toasted coca leaves and mixed with the ash of burnt leaves of the yarumo tree. When slowly absorbed through the mucus lining of the mouth – not swallowed – it produces wakefulness, a slight numbness in the gums and a damping of appetite. Elements of air so we can speak from the heart. Sharing the medicine so we can share with each other

Ambil

Masculine energy. Bitter black tobacco paste containing vegetal salts from the ash of a burnt palm trunk rich in minerals. It sharpens one’s concentration and short-term memory. Used to think, focus, resolve problems.

These medicines help us amplify the will to manifest what we put into the circle. After the Rapeh we passed around the Ambil. The instruction was to take a dollop and rub the sticky substance on the wall of the cheek; it tasted a little spicy. The Mambe was passed around and the challenge was turning your head and tossing the green powder right over the placement of the Ambil; of course I got it all over my beard and poncho. Afterwards we went around the circle discussing what our goal was to get out of this experience. After talking for a good while we went inside, ate, and retired for the night to get ready for the next offering.

Kambo

Kambo is a secretion that comes from the back of the phyllomedusa bicolor frog.
It is a natural biochemical cocktail used for millennia, that encourages a very deep purge of toxins from the body. The process typically lasts 15 to 20 minutes and it is necessary to fast prior so as to enter a session with an empty stomach. It is one of the most powerful DETOX tool that exists, not just because of the cleansing it evokes – which is only a minimal part of the physical benefit it has – but also for the enormous nutrition and reactivation that it produces in the organism thanks to the 14 peptides it contains. These are authentic biochemical keys that open the doors of our internal pharmacy, leaving the immune system in an optimal state, especially with 3 applications in a period of less than 28 days, which together complete what is known worldwide as ‘the Jungle vaccine’.

At around 9:30 Saturday we sat back in the circle around the fire. Buckets were passed out for each of us along with a gallon jug of water for each of us. The shaman administered a round of Rapeh to ground us before the Kambo along with giving us a cleansing/protection spray to rub over our head. He then went around to create the gates on our skin. This consists of burning a layer of skin using a hot incense stick and placing the gates where the shaman felt were most needed for you based on the discussion from yesterday.

I received 3 on right upper arm, 2 on upper left arm, 1 on each clavicle side, and one lower down on one side of the chest. He did went around placing the kambo on the dots for each person. Within seconds, I started to get hot and felt my face puffing up into the frog face. We were told to immediately drink water, with the goal of drinking 2-3 liters. The water is what would flush out the toxins the kambo was scanning your body for so of course we were going to purge, drinking that amount of water while feeling like absolute shit is one of the hardest parts. Very soon after I started to purge and man was it rough.

Every single time I would try to down the water soon after I would be purging into the bucket. Just a circle of us all purging and groaning with our buckets on our lap haha. They would continue to tell us to drink even pouring our water into cups so it was easier than holding the big jug. One guy went flush of color right at the beginning and barely moved while holding on to his cup for a while and I had to stare to confirm he was breathing because I was scared for him.

The shaman went around blowing Palo Santo over us. When the kambo was first applied you could feel the sting on the gates lingering but after a while through the process they came around and removed the kambo and placed dragons blood over the gates to prevent infection. Throughout part of the process you would purge your stomach bile and the color would help determine what you were purging emotionally; mine being yellow with foam representing fear and sadness. We were encouraged to rest and we poured our buckets back into the earth. After coming down the water was more tolerable, also just to note all males had their shirt off. I have no clue how someone would want to do this 3x in 28 days! P.S. I did purge through the backside once at the beginning.

Kundalini Yoga

Concept of kundalini energy has been around for centuries as early as the Vedic texts from 1000 B.C. It refers to a coiled snake that sits at the base of your spine sleeping and unaroused. Kundalini Yoga is practiced to activate this energy, which allows it to move up and through the chakras along your spine. Chakras are the seven energy centers in your body. As the energy rises its believed to help balance these chakras and contribute to your spiritual wellness leading to enlightenment. This yoga involves chanting, singing, breathing exercises, and repetitive poses.

At 3:30pm after chatting for a while with the others and laying in the sun we gathered in the living room to do Kundalini Yoga. He shared the breathing and posture movements that he would call out. Multiple times throughout it we would reset to holding our hands slightly apart feeling the energy. It was strange, I felt almost like one of the toy water filled stress balls in between my hands and as I moved in a circular motion you could feel the resistance, like 2 magnets repelling each other.

Yopo

Tradition over 4000 years old; opening of the 3rd eye to be able to perceive into the light of the non-physical spiritual dimensions; can be taken with a piece of the Ayahuasca vine to enhance experience
This jungle tree that, when inhaled/blown through the nose, produces an expansion of consciousness and a surprising therapeutic-spiritual effect. The effect could be described as similar to a fusion of Ayahuasca and Bufo Alvarius; that is to say, it produces organic cleansing and spiritual connection. On the one hand it is a hard confrontation with the ego, and on the other hand it offers consciousness of unity. Expansion of consciousness is assured, but in the process different things move and you arrive at a very particular space from where you can appreciate reality. Unlike Ayahuasca or Bufo Alvarius, which are introspective experiences, Yopo opens us to the comprehension of the other, and allows us to establish deep dialogues with people who are in the same process (ideal for couples or friends) and at the same moment of the experience.

We talked about the ceremony after yoga; It will last about 4 hours. The first serving of Yopo will make you feel heavy like gravity has been turned up and the second dose is supposed to connect you with the sky. The substance clogs your nose so you are supposed to breathe through your mouth. 2nd dose will be taken about an hour in.

He passed a piece of the Ayahuasca root and we were supposed to chew on it until it was very soft, about 20 minutes, meanwhile we shared our intentions for this ceremony. It was applied just like rapeh but it did not burn nearly as bad. After a while I started to feel the heaviness that was described earlier. I believed I purged maybe once at the beginning. I layed down with my eyes closed and started to feel this vibration at the top of my head. I began to see this red ball in the center of a fractal almost like a flower.

I had to open my eyes and move a few times but when I settled again I just started to see the red growing more and more like a beam. I felt it focusing on my head and I thanked it for the healing. At a certain moment I felt like I was coming out of it earlier than others. I noticed one woman started to speak very loudly in another language. I recall hearing her purge a lot longer than others and now she had her hand to her heart reciting almost something that sounded like spells or prayers. It went from low to high volume, varied in intensity and I was amazed.

I can’t recall when in the experience, but the shaman began to administer the 2nd dose. The heaviness happened again. I recall having a few of the same experiences on yopo that I had on Ayahuasca. As the shaman sung I could not swaying and moving my body, dancing to the music. I remained seated but I was in love with the vibration of me just moving with the music and sound bowl. Eventually the shaman stopped singing and thats when I began.

For at least probably 10 minutes I was ranging from low to high pitch almost mimicking the sounds I’ve heard from the various icaros with their tempo, pitch, and rhythm. I think the shaman wasn't playing the guitar at that point but I was just acapella as if the universe told me what to sing; It just felt so good to feel the vibration of my singing. A few people actually started to hum and sing with me. At one point the assistant started to play the sound bowl and as he came over my head I started to change my pitch almost to match it and I get quieter and quieter until I stopped singing and just felt the vibration of the sound bowl pulse through me.

As I write this part I realize I am literally swaying subconsciously side to side in starbucks like I was doing in the ceremony. I also recall throughout my experience laying down before sitting up to sing, I was constantly saying the confirmations “mhm” and “yes” as if I was responding to something but I could not hear the question. I also would click my teeth and enjoyed feeling that vibration.

As we calmed down a little we began to share our experiences and messages we received. What stood out to me is the woman spoke about it not being her that was reciting the prayers, but it felt like another spirit had to over her body and used her as a vessel to say prayers for us. She did not know what language was being spoken, definitely one she didn’t know herself, and felt that it may not have even been a written language. Another woman expressed wanting to dance and I was like I wanted to dance with you but didn’t want to invade your energy! We all shared our experiences, the shaman closed out the circle, and went decided to eat dinner. Funny enough a few of us, even after purging multiple times throughout the day did not have the desire to eat so we just decided to save it until after tomorrow’s morning ceremony.

Bufo

This is a natural entheogenic tool extracted from the glands of the Bufo Alvarius toad from the Sonora desert and is considered to be the most powerful entheogen in existence. Its form of consumption is inhaling, via a glass pipe, the smoke that is produced when burning the flakes that result from the extraction. It must be emphasized that the toad does not suffer any damage when being ‘milked’ from only two of its six glands during the harvest of this natural substance, and it is quickly returned to its natural habitat. These toads only emerge for three months a year and it is the only species of toad in the world that has this substance.
Experiences can last up to 20 minutes or even an hour. The experience has been described as being one with the universe and feeling reborn; a fusion with God or the divine source, universe/all beings. Some people feel like they are being thrown into the void at a high speed and total dissolution of their ego.

Sunday morning I woke up and took a shower; I noticed that they had set up four stations. They started with 2 people and once they were under for a while they added the 3rd and then the 4th. I was the 5th person to go. 3 inhales and exhales first to prep my breathing with the last one exhaling all the air. He lights the pipe, I purse my lips to kiss it and slowly inhale for 10 seconds, hold it for 5 seconds, and as I am holding it I start to see the ripples of energy in front of me as I start to lay down and blast off.

I immediately felt this overwhelming energy all around me. I started to feel my heart and almost seeing and feeling it beat in 3rd person with my body nowhere in sight. I constantly told myself relax, let it be, don’t fight it, you are ok. As the shaman sung and spread the palo santo/herb smoke throughout the air I almost felt I returned to that ancient ceremony I was in on my 3rd day of Ayahuasca. As I felt all the vibrations of energy around me they started to feel like pure ecstasy and happiness. I almost felt like I was in one of those movie scenes where people surround somebody in a circle basically possessed and twitching/gyrating the way I was moving my body, or so I thought I was. The air started to feel gelatinous so every move I made started to get very slow almost like I was in water or jello.

The sound bowl amplified all the good feelings and I was definitely moaning and laughing a bit. Whenever I would smell the herbs being blown over me I felt this cooler energy surround me. The chants from the shaman sounded like they were coming from all parts of the room and from multiple people. I felt the energy emanating from my body like my own personal aura. I felt powerful and as I was lying down I slowly started to raise my hand from my waist to my head. However this took at least 5 minutes because the air felt so thick with energy. At one point I made it to the same height of my head but bringing my hands to my head took so long I started to question if my body was really there, saying out loud “Where am I? Am I here?”

Finally touching my head was like bliss, on the way up I felt energy touching my body following me up and has I started to return back to my waist I started to use my power to push whatever negativity I could out of me, almost like an emptying. I didn’t want to open my eyes because I didnt want to leave the experience. When I finally did, I laid there contemplating what just happened. I looked at the person who had administered my Bufo, whom was another participant who helped that day because of previous experience.

I just stared at him in all white just in awe of his pureness. Once I arose I went up to him and told him “You look pure like the angel that takes your hand when it’s time to go to the other side” He said thank you and Immediately I burst into tears as I grabbed my journal. He asked if I wanted to sit I just struggled and walked onto the balcony to look at the morning sky. I did not know why I was crying, it was like a emotional of all emotions at once, I wasn’t sad. After strong crying for a couple of minutes I got it together while the next person finishing came out the the balcony bawling as well. It was a great ending to an eye-opening weekend. Few hours later we said our goodbyes, took pictures and I headed home listening to the 2nd half of the Kybalion on the way.

Kambo,Yopo, Bufo Oh My! - A Black Man's Journey